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Which ‘Wednesday’ killer character embodies your zodiac sign?

They’re creepy and they’re kooky.

If you watch Netflix’s “Wednesday” with subtitles, the theme music is described as “jaunty macabre,” an apt descriptor for the show itself.

Inspired by the cartoons of triple earth sign Charles Addams, “Wednesday,” follows our Hot Topic heroine as she navigates the fresh hell of high school with razor sharp wit and a face as straight as her bangs.

Since it’s November premiere, and in spite of mixed reviews, the show has become wildly popular. The eight episode series, which counts Virgo visionary Tim Burton as a producer and sometimes director, currently ranks as the number one show on Netflix and, according to Variety, is the third most popular English-language TV series of all time.

The “Wednesday” cast includes Jenna Ortega playing the duel roles of the acid tongued protagonist as well as her dead forbearer, Goody Addams. Catherine Zeta-Jones is pure vamp as Wednesday’s mother/nemesis Morticia and Christina Ricci, who played Wednesday in 1991’s “The Addams Family” and 1993 “Addams Family Values,” plays dorm mom and botany instructor Marilyn Thornhill.

While no plans nor release date for a second have been revealed, the unprecedented success of the show suggest the high likelihood of a season two of “Wednesday.” If you have yet to watch the show in full, stop reading right now, as there are serious spoilers lurking ahead. For you well versed veterans and/or joy kills, read on to learn more about the cast of “Wednesday” through the zodiac signs.

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Tyler Galpin (Hunter Doohan)

An explosive, murderous monster type temper that quickly reverts to calm? Ty Ty is Aries all the way. Further evidence of his fire sign nature can be found in his relentless pursuit of Wednesday’s affections, history of vandalism, poor impulse control, problems with authority and willingness to volunteer as the getaway driver at moments notice. On the opposite side of the Aries spectrum, we have bee king and ride or die, Eugene Otinger. Played by Moosa Mostafa, Gene expresses some of the better angels of the Aries archetype, as he conducts himself as an apex survivor, impatient explorer and unsung hero to friends in need.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

Pugsley Addams (Issac Ordonez)

The Taurus disposition is soothed by nature and calmed by caloric intake. Apropos of his sign, Pugsley Addams finds comfort in pond fishing with grenades and is prone to eating his feelings especially when someone tries to make him talk about them, evident in his consumption of potpourri during a family therapy session. He’s also loyal AF to Wednesday despite her mistreatment and feigned disdain.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Thing (Victor Dorobantu)

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, planet of communication and Wednesday’s carpal companion Thing is absolutely aces at self-expression, despite his obvious lack of a face. Like most Geminis, Thing fears captivity above all else, helps enliven and steer social situations and is uncannily adept at thieving luxury goods and forging love letters.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

Bianca Barclay (Joy Sunday)

Cancer rules the fourth house of home and relates to the archetype of the mother. In kind, resident mean girl Bianca Barclay is the latest and greatest in a matriarchal line of sirens. Like many Cancers, Bianca has serious trust issues and is preternaturally gifted at song and swimming, emotional blackmail and acting tough to safeguard a very tender under belly.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

Gomez Addams (Luis Guzmán)

Leo rules the heart and Gomez Addams certainly leads with his. Into exaggerated displays of affection and brave enough to take a murder wrap for love, Gomez is all lion. Leos oft carry iconic hair and Gomez, with his trademark middle part and pencil mustache is no exception. Lions make for fine fathers due to their enduring relationship with their own inner child. True to sign, Gomez is a protective, pinstriped daddy-o who has raised a fierce, independent daughter who doesn’t lack for love or confidence.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Marilyn Thornhill (Christina Ricci)

Giving credence to the claim that Virgo is the most dangerous zodiac sign, I bring you the bespectacled, unassuming villain of the series, ladies and gentlemen, normies and outcasts, Marilyn Thornhill AKA Laurel Gates. Hiding in plain sight is a Virgo strong suit as is an affinity for plant life and nursing grudges. Virgos thrives on control and Thornhill masterfully manipulates young Tyler into doing her bidding. Virgos love a DIY project and Thornhill’s involves stitching together human remains to resurrect her dead ancestor in order to execute a vengeance plot. Themes lifted directly from “Frankenstein” written by fellow Virgo Mary Shelley.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Morticia Addams (Catherine Zeta-Jones)

Played by real life Libra Catherine Zeta-Jones, Morticia Addams has the charm, beauty, social grace and multiple suitors we associate with the sign of the scales. Big on keeping the peace and appearances up, it tracks that a Libra like Morticia would lie to her child to obscure a difficult truth and an unseemly past. Libra rules the seventh house of partnerships and by extension, codependence. Fittingly, Morticia loathes being alone and has devoted herself completely to her husband.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

Wednesday Addams (Jenna Ortega)

A death obsessed amateur detective/ruthless master of revenge with a taste for the taboo, an allergy to color and an aversion emotion? Our goth heroine with a heart of gold could only be a Scorpio. This fixed water sign is ruled by Pluto, planet of death and resurrection and named for the god of the underworld. In kind, natives have a proclivity towards morbid themes and gallows humor. Checks out. They also play to win and as Wednesday reminds us, “Everything is a competition.”

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Endid Sincalir (Emma Myers)

Sagittarius folk are good natured and relentlessly optimistic, keen to see the sunny side even if they worship at the altar of the full moon. In typical Sag fashioin, latent werewolf Enid Sinclair has a “nose for gossip,” likes to dance, can plan a surprise party with aplomb and looks like a Coachella milkshake complete with pastel hair and face jewels. Archers tend to go their own way on their own time, refusing to yield to societal or parental pressures. True to form, Enid, can’t be willed to wolf out until she’s good and ready to howl.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

Larissa Weems (Gwendoline Christie)

Capricorn is ruled by structure upholding, standard setting planet Saturn. Enter principal Larissa Weems, who is always in control and perfectly coiffed, cutting a commanding figure in structured couture and a classic red lip. Equal parts dry and driven, Caps tend to endure difficult albeit formative younger years. As Larissa recalls of her high school tenure, “all I remember is disappointment.” Capricorn rules the tenth house of public image and Larissa is not above a cover up or a propaganda campaign to uphold the status quo, keep her reputation intact and Nevermore open.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

Uncle Fester (Fred Armisen)

Aquarius is the outsider of the zodiac and as a ketchup chugging loner genius type with a track record that includes several rounds of shock therapy, larceny and a stint in an institute for the criminally insane, Wednesday’s Uncle Fester is big time water bearer vibes. Aquarius rules over space travel, technology, and electricity and Fester comes correct with tracking devices and a Dalmatian sidecar and can conveniently summon energy currents between his palms

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Xavier Thorpe (Percy Hynes White)

Water signs get water signs fam, and Scorpio Wednesday Addams and Pisces Xavier Thorpe are naturally drawn to each other. In pure Pisces fashion, our man has a moody blue art studio in the middle of the woods where he paints his dreamscapes and nightmare visions into reality. Fish folk are often overwhelmed by their own emotions and ever open to a trap door that will release them from feeling. Cue Xavier asking Bianca for the equivalent of a mind eraser to forget about Wednesday. Tough luck my guy, but great line work.


Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars


Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.

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